what scares me

after reading this:
The Big Bloop

and this:
squid mating

I have reached one conclusion. The leviathan is alive and well....and its my job to find it, bring it to the surface, kill it, drag it to the port of New York City and dry-hump it in-front of the world.

How big is the big bloop? well pretty god awful big anything that can produce a sound heard over 5000km has to be big. In fact this could vary well be the biggest living creature in the world. Which is why I must kill it.

There is something in my nature that rebels againts animals that are to big. Worms dont bother me, but big ones do. Niether does mold, but I would run screaming in terror from a moving slime mold. There is a fine line between mild disgust and the urge to get a pitchfork and a torch and burn something.Well a giant deep sea squid is way way past that line.

My plan is simple after locatied the squid I will harpoon one of its tentacles and drag it to the surface. As a result most of the squid's body will still be deep down in the water. The pressure difference will most likely induce something similiar to a stroke in the squid.

Now helpless I will drag my giant seizure squid with half its tentacles flapping around to NY. I will pose in-front of my seziure skin. For some reason it will be a black and white photo. All my crew memebers will be standing there dignified adn proud. Me I will be humping it.

Only a man would understand. Its not enough to catch the world's largest creature, not enough to give it a seizure and then kill it. No. One must rub his penis on it.

So now all I need is some funding.